In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
