My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
