he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
That's how pantless uber rides happen
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
