so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
