You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
