Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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