a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
