Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
