For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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