I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i want to swaddle you in tequila
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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