Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
