If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
