i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Randomize
