fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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