I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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