He is an equal opportunity slut.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
