She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I need a burrito and a hug.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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