2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
