at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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