bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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