I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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