you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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