i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
