i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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