the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
