sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
