thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize