Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
