I think I just saw someone hide a body.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
