whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize