do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
