babies were throwing up all over the place
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize