yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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