I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
