im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
