If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
