My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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