I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
