so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
