Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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