I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
