is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
