Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
