The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
sex in a hospital.. check
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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