Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
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