his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
