physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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