I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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