it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
