i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
