As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
