How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
