At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
