He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
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