I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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