I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
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