Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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