Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
