if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
