when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Randomize
