I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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